Dance with My Father again

Good evening Bloggers,

 The month of June  is known for the begining of Summer, the end of School and Fathers Day!

Besides those days, there is one day that stood out for me and that was my belated fathers b-day!

My father past November 16th 2008, of course a day that I will never forget because of his death, but mostly because of God's love throught others at that moment.

I did not have a perfect relationship with my father but in the last years of his life, I allowed God to work in  my heart in order for me to love him where he was. I went from never expressing my feelings and expecting all kinds of things from him,  to telling him that I love him and that I would not have chosen another father, giving hugs and writing greeting cards. I did not always get the response that I would of liked from him, but I knew that I had to make sure that I did my part.

How about you bloggers...

• Are you having a hard time with your father?
• Do you wish that you had another father?
•  Have you spoken to your father lately?
• Have you told him that you love him?
• Have you blessed him lately?
• Do you need to release forgiveness....

If he would die tomorow would you have any regrets...Or will you be in a position to say that it wasn't perfect but you did your best! Bloggers take a moment to reflect on that! I only wish that my father was alive in order to not focuss on the silly things. You still have the chance to make things right! Ask God to show you how!

I know that I had a hard time seeing my father in the last months of his life because he was sick and had lost his ability to express himself, but when I heard the news,the first thing that I wanted to do was to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him one more time.

What  about now!

I'm allowing God to heal me and he has done an amazing job so far :)). Alot of emotions came up after his death that brought me back down memory lane. Those days were not easy, but I knew that I had to go through them. It allowed me to go to the foundation of who I was... God is good, he is not only shifting my mind, he is healing my heart, reenforcing my foundation in him and pouring his love into me day by day!

That process is making  me realize that there were things that I was looking for in my father that only God can give. And there were things that he just could not give me because he did not know how...

How do I deal with grief?

I have no idea! Honestly,  I just allow myself to Feel EVERYTHNG without DWELLING on anything for too long. Of course I still have a hard time accepting certain things like the fact that  he will not be there when I get married or when  I have kids, but there is nothing I can do about it. Actually there is...I can give it to God and allow him to give me peace about that :))

If there was one thing that I was looking forward too was the momment that I dance with my father at my wedding. Luther Vandross's song Dance with my father again has been playing in my mind alot lately. Hum!

In the midts of that, God has been awsome. I have been having some awsome times in worship with him were I dance with my heavenly father in the spirit and I love it. You see God can fill anything as long as we don't attempt to put him in a box.


That all she wrote for tonight bloggers in the mean time I HOPE YOU DANCE...

The Wait

Everyday I find myself waiting..

Waiting... for that DAY

Waiting... for that TIME

Waiting... for that YEAR

Waiting...

Waiting... for that LOVE

Waiting... for that HUSBAND

Waiting... for that PEACE

Just waiting...

On the other hand God has been

Waiting for the DAY that I surrender completly to him

Waiting for that quality TIME with me

Waiting for that YEAR, when I will allow him to manifest his power in my life

Waiting...

Waiting to be my  HUSBAND           

Waiting to LOVE me like no one can

Waiting to give me that PEACE that surpasses all things

Just waiting...

While I'm waiting for life

God is waiting to give me life

The WAIT is over...

The DAY is today

That TIME is now

This is the YEAR

He is my HUSBAND
He is my LOVE
He is my PEACE

I'm done waiting...

Life is worth living TODAY!

Speak!!!

Hello Bloggers,

These past few days, I've been put in different situations, that allowed me to see that there is something major that God is working in my life, and that is the ability to SPEAK my mind. He is showing me that I've put myself in akward situation's and have accumulated alot of frustrations because of the times that I was affraid to SPEAK.

Tell me Bloggers have you even been in a situation where you wanted to say something but you were stuck? Nothing is comming out, all of the sudden you have lost the ability to SPEAK. You feel like you are going to explode, but nothing comes out! The moment that the conversation is over and that you have had time to think about it, all the perfect answers come down ready to be released. But too late! Everyone is either gone or have moved on.

Along my walk I realized that one major reason for me not expressing myself was FEAR.

• Fear of confrontation
• Fear of jugement
• Fear of being misunderstood
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of hurting others

Most of all fear of being hurt...

Anyone who knows me or who sees me will never believe that I have a hard time expressing myself. Why? Well because I'm extraverted, so when I'm somewhere I'm usually very open to others. But what am I saying?

You will see me smilling,joking and talking to different people. That's very good, but if something goes wrong or if I feel hurt, my walls will come back up, I will most likely slowly retrieve myself or hide behind more jokes and stories.

When I was younger I was very shy and would make an opinion of others in the first few seconds that I met them. Then I would deal with them according to what I have decerned. Because most of my jugements were based on fear, I missed out on plenty of good relationship with some awesome people! If you are thinking, how does she know? Well I know, because I became friends with some of them later on lol!

In order to have victory over shyness, I started to face my fears by doing this simple thing. Everywhere I go I make eye contact or I introduce myself in the first 5 min. If I don't know anyone I'll look through the room and allow God to connect me with someone that I can talk too in order to break the ice. It works every time I've been doing it for years :))

Ok that is pretty cool. But God want's to take me to this place where I allow myself to SPEAK and be real at all times. Too often I was worried about what others would think or about loosing friendships because of my honesty. I did not understand that any relationship without truth is doomed to fail. Actually some of my best friendships are those where I know that the person will always tell me the truth and question me even when it hurts and that I am also allowed to say the truth. It has to be both ways!

That is off course when the truth is said with Love and Respect!!!

I must admit that there was a time in my life, where I would SPEAK my mind but I was lacking wisdom. The truth would come out a little too strongly. But now I have grown wiser, but I also went to the other extreme, where I only speak my mind, if I know that I will be recieved or not percieved as weak. Specially if it has to do with what I see in other people's life, or if what I'm about to say will go in contradiction with the opinion of others.

Today I saw a clip from a message of Claudette Copleland, and she was talking about real friendships and how when you are in a true relationship God will allow you to see things in order for you to eighter pray for that person or for you to SPEAK the truth to them. It really left me with the desire to honor my friendships by being real!

• How about you bloggers, how do you deal with touchy subjects?
• Are you comfortable speaking your mind and share your feelings with your friends, co-workers, Leaders or familly members?
• Are you stuck with a bunch of emotions that were never expressed?
• Are you the type that always agrees with everyone because you are afraid of their reactions?
• Are you willing to be who God has called you to be?

I'm greatfull that God is really shifting my mind and he is really helping me focuss on him. I find that I've come a long way and that although there is still alot of room to grow, I got better at sharing my thoughts and at being vulnerable with others. My challenge remains in the area of going back on things that I never said and in continuing to face those with who I find it harder to be myself. But I'm allowing God to show me what is necessary and what have to let go, when to SPEAK and what to say. Sometimes it's just not worthed to dig in the past or to say certain things just to make a point :) The most important thing for me right now is to embrace who God is calling me to be. I saw a quote on someones page that really fits my reality...

Now with God's help I shall become MYSELF! (Soren Kierkegaard)

That's all she wrote bloggers!
I would love to hear from you! Take a minute and write me a note :))

Today was a good day!

Good evening Bloggers.

Tonight I'm happy. My schedule at work changed so It was my second Day off :) Because of that I was able to take some quality time with God. Something that I was not able to do for a while. My life was going so fast, that I had a hard time to stop.

Ever since I understood that praying was not about a place, a formula or that I did not have to be like anyone else, I do it every day, anywhere at anytime.

That's all good, but once in a while I need to have a date with my God, let me explain.

One of my sister's came with this analogy that I find very interesting. She compares praying with eating.

*I can go to the (Drive tru 5 min)
( Good morning Lord thank you for this or that, help me with this or that....)

*I can go in and have (Fast food 15-20 min)
( Maybe talk to him about something specific, read a psalm, praise...)

*Take time to sit down for (Diner 1 hour)
( Pray , praise,read from a spiritual book , write take time to listen, talk to him about many subjects, meditate on the word, soak in his presence...)

*Go to his Banquet (1hour and more)
( The sky is the limit lol, pray, read, listen in silence , meditate on a verse or on a word, pray for others and for self... the best just stay in his presence and allow him to lead the way)

And today I had a banquet and it was awsome. I had time to praise him, talk to him read from the bible and just be in his presence with almost no interuption. Thank you Lord.

I'm mostly greafull because I was going throught a rough spot were I was not able to enjoy that time with him. There were too many things going through my mind.

But one thing got me going and that was praising him. At first it was hard because my heart was not all there, but the more I praised him, the more I wanted to be in his presence. I started with songs that I knew in order for me to sing my way out!!! After a while the songs became a backdrop to my special time with my God. I was free to be in his presence, free to love him, free to be me, free to laugh, free to express myself and free to hear him talk to me!

Now that was a great start to a great day ;)

Now bloggers how do you feel about your prayer time?
Do you feel presure to performe?
Do you feel that you are having a hard time to be in his presence?
Do you feel like you are more in a routine than anything else?

I encourage you to continue to perserve and to speak your heart to God. His love for you does not change because of the amount of time that you take to pray him. He knows who you are and he is interested in your heart. He rathers has 5min of all of your heart, then 5 hours of fluff! Continue to develop your relationship with him and you will find your special love language with him.He loves to spend time with you!

Have a blessed prayer time!

That's all she wrote for today :))

Ah ha!!!!!

I am so exited about the power of God's love,grace and mercy over my life. I had a great week-end at the Ancient Path II seminar. There I had a (Ah ha) moment about the power of SHAME! Did you know that shame can ruin your destiny.

It was an handicap for me because it stoped me from prospering. I also found out that alot of the anger that I dealt with in my life had to do with shame. I must say that when I use to think about shame, I would stick to the things that would embarasse me, because I did something wrong. But there is another dimension of shame that is the result of seeds that were planted by others throughout our lives, specially in our childhood. Now that was a shocker!!! Why, well because that is the kind of shame that I did not know existed in me, because they were not related to something that I did or that I was old enough to be responsable for.

I also found out that GUILT is good when used properly because guilt we bring us to the 3 R's (RECOGNIZE, REPENT, & RENOUCE) Then I must let it go and MOVE ON! LOL.

Now I cannot give you all the teaching from Craig Hill but I can tell you this. I am liberated from the power of SHAME and now have the proper tools to guide me whenever SHAME will try to come back my way!!!

Wow!!! Freedommmmmm lol.

Now my dear bloggers how do you deal with shame?
Do you have someone of trust that you can talk too?
Are you willing to seek counselling about things that have gone wrong in your life or things that you are struggling with?

Well you know what! I can tell you that I have been blessed to have had many people around me to express myself. Throughtout the years I went from professionals to ministry counselling, I spoke to familly members, spiritual familly and friends.

I can say one thing for sure. Darkness can not stand the light. The more I walk with God the more I find that he will put the right people on my path to listen to me and to walk me throught the hard moments of my life. I am so greatfull to God for giving the courage to open up my heart.

Well I can hear you now!!! Oh well she is lucky to have so many people to talk too. I do not have anyone. I encourage you to open your eyes and take a good look around you! Sometimes the gift that God has sent you does not come in the wrapping that you would of liked. Ask him to show you who he has placed in your life to walk with you and guide you.

Did I ever get hurt by people that broke my trust? Yes but no matter what I kept on going forward because I know that not talking is giving all the power to darkness! I must add that the first person that I talk to is God. I use to hide things from him until I read THE SHACK. ( A must read) I realized that even though God knows everything, he is also very interested in hearing me speak my heart. So why hide stuff from him lol
I tell him alot lol

He is always right there for me at any given moment I can connect with him. I challenge you to find someone who is always available like him :))
That is why I allow myself to fall in love with him one day at a time.....
That's all she wrote for tonight bloggers ;))

For more information about the Ancient Path Seminar in general go on www.familyfi.org

But if you want to have more info about where they are given in your city send me a e-mail vilsaintgina@gmail.com

Falling in Love

Falling in Love..

 

Good evening bloggers Welcome to my blog!!!!

Falling in love is a beautifull thing you agree? We can all go back and remember our first love or for some, our first crush lol. That love seemed so perfect, pure, without limits but one day for most of us, it ended. And hearts were crushed.If we are not married to our first love, we sure can remember our first heartbreak :((

Now imagine how beautifull it must be to fall in love with Love itelf. Jesus is love, everything about him is love, but how does that happen? I have often asked myself how do I get there? How do I maintain a relationhip with him? How do I keep close to him when life is unfair, when I'm hurt or when a love one dies...How do I trust that he will always be there and that he will never leave me nor forsake me.How do I keep walking in his direction when the world is telling me that his name is Universe or that he does not exist.

Then I would watch others be so in love with him and tell myself that they must be special, that they must have no faults. I did not believe that a love like this could exist for me. I was able to accept it for others but not for me not understanding that Jesus loves me no matter what! Along my journey some of these questions were answered and some of them remain. One thing I know for sure is that my journey with him is unique. My walk will not resemble your walk. But in the end one fact remains God wants us to be in a intimate relationship with him. He is always ready to build that relationship with me and he is soooooo patient.

Bloggers how would you describe your relationship with the Lord?
What is your perception of God?

Stick around bloggers as I share parts of my dailly walk with God...Loving him ONE DAY AT A TIME.