Good evening Bloggers,
The month of June is known for the begining of Summer, the end of School and Fathers Day!
Besides those days, there is one day that stood out for me and that was my belated fathers b-day!
My father past November 16th 2008, of course a day that I will never forget because of his death, but mostly because of God's love throught others at that moment.
I did not have a perfect relationship with my father but in the last years of his life, I allowed God to work in my heart in order for me to love him where he was. I went from never expressing my feelings and expecting all kinds of things from him, to telling him that I love him and that I would not have chosen another father, giving hugs and writing greeting cards. I did not always get the response that I would of liked from him, but I knew that I had to make sure that I did my part.
How about you bloggers...
- Are you having a hard time with your father?
- Do you wish that you had another father?
- Have you spoken to your father lately?
- Have you told him that you love him?
- Have you blessed him lately?
- Do you need to release forgiveness....
I know that I had a hard time seeing my father in the last months of his life because he was sick and had lost his ability to express himself, but when I heard the news,the first thing that I wanted to do was to hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him one more time.
What about now!
I'm allowing God to heal me and he has done an amazing job so far :)). Alot of emotions came up after his death that brought me back down memory lane. Those days were not easy, but I knew that I had to go through them. It allowed me to go to the foundation of who I was... God is good, he is not only shifting my mind, he is healing my heart, reenforcing my foundation in him and pouring his love into me day by day!
That process is making me realize that there were things that I was looking for in my father that only God can give. And there were things that he just could not give me because he did not know how...
How do I deal with grief?
I have no idea! Honestly, I just allow myself to Feel EVERYTHNG without DWELLING on anything for too long. Of course I still have a hard time accepting certain things like the fact that he will not be there when I get married or when I have kids, but there is nothing I can do about it. Actually there is...I can give it to God and allow him to give me peace about that :))
If there was one thing that I was looking forward too was the momment that I dance with my father at my wedding. Luther Vandross's song Dance with my father again has been playing in my mind alot lately. Hum!
In the midts of that, God has been awsome. I have been having some awsome times in worship with him were I dance with my heavenly father in the spirit and I love it. You see God can fill anything as long as we don't attempt to put him in a box.
That all she wrote for tonight bloggers in the mean time I HOPE YOU DANCE...